The last few weeks have been a whirlwind. Even more so now that I have started my new semester and am taking three 15 week classes in just under 7 weeks. The fast track programs are awesome and I learn a lot in a short amount of time. I feel like it really pushes me to do well and I have to grasp to retain or I will fail. Its a really quite the challenge….two classes is hard. Managing three. I feel like I am drowning and yet have no motivation to do my assignments. Its almost like God’s way of helping me find grace for myself. I always am so hard on myself. Staying on the deans list or maintaining straight A’s, my home, and doing the best I can at work.
I am trying to find inner peace in accepting that I am doing really well. Last week I received the CEO award for the company I work for and got a great bonus “award” — not given out to many and comes straight from out CEO…..I should have been stoked!!!! Only instead of being happy about it… I have the “I accept that you see I am awesome” and continue to drown myself in worry of being the best “ME” I can be. HELLO. Earth to Rocket. You are worthy of love. You are worthy of success. You are doing all of the things you need to be doing and you are doing well. STOP BEING SO HARD ON YOURSELF.
Why? Why? Why? Can’t I turn things off? How do I shutdown the whirlwind?