What I want. When I want.

Separation has really shown me a new side to myself. Lots of people have always told me that I was “lucky” because I always seemed to get what I wanted and several friends are jealous because I will talk about something then set a price in my head and somehow find an item or whatever it happens to be at a great discount. Queen of clearance? I can’t help that I have the patience of a person who really wants something? I mean? If I truly want something then its going to be worth waiting for, right?

I really don’t have patience. I am demanding and ruthless. I set my eyes on something and I don’t stop until I get it. Not that I burn bridges along the way but I definitely don’t take “no” very well and I have a high respect for people…. just don’t get in my way.

The reality of this is really hitting me today. As I was talking to my best friend about a new lets say project for lack of better term and detail today, I was truly faced with understanding completely people now when they say I get what I want.  I vaguely touched on this new project last Sunday. Its been on my mind for a few weeks, lightly. Something seriously intriguing and adventure seeking lays in this project and for whatever reason I have trusted my gut to just run with it after this weeks events. Monday randomly and email came through that was odd and pointed to DO IT. Tuesday a random person mentioned something connecting to the project and I felt my gut turn a little. Then Wednesday I got my true opening for opportunity and I WENT FOR IT. Phase 1. hook. line. sinker.

Now. I just wonder. Am I crazy? I am over analyzing everything now because I am carefully crafting (as I normally would only more attention is alerted to the project detail internally…if that makes any sense).  Is it really happening? Or is it just a figment of my imagination? Is phase 1 complete? Did that door open?


But I saw it. and in my mind. Without thinking it. I saw it. I wanted it. I did everything I could to have it. Now its mine?  NO?

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